yeahhh then the drinking started and it got crazy. It was just the girls plus Inez's boyfriend so there was no real drama which was refreshing, because honestly in my opinion the guys in seattle are way wayy to emotional.
Priscilla was really happy and that made me happy lol. At one point in our friendship she told me how hard it was moving to seattle and I think it would be for anyone. Especially if your parents aren't there and you just came hoping for something different and new. omg and paying for everything just adds a whole new level of stress on everything. so I could totally relate to her but I think things are definitely a lot better :)
what ended up happening was half of the group was wasted, most especially priscilla and the other half was driving. It was funny because she puked all over my leg and Ranju's shoe, and we both freaked out. I was pretty drunk and stuck my leg out the boat to wash it off and everyone was freaking out. They thought I was gonna fall out ..
anyways I think the weirdest part of the night was talking to Ranju. She has been interested in this guy for awhile, finally made out with him and last night she was trying to text him and call him a lot and he just got mad. Overall I don't like this guy because he just doesn't seem interested in her, he used to be her TA(teacher assistant) for school. He gets mad at her for little things and it's just annoying because she kept telling me she wants to hook up with him even though she's never been with anyone or done any of this before. I just feel like she has this misconception of what love is. She kept saying love is like this outside our church, people do this. But I don't believe that, just because people do this doesn't make it love. I honestly don't care if she dates, I just want her to date someone that deserves her. Not some old creep that yells at her over the phone. Honestly how could she have anything to compare it to. She has never been treated nicely by a guy. And because of a guy she is not in this church anymore. I want to help her but I know she doesn't want someone who is preaching to her about life especially about the church. She keeps telling me that she is in love with this guy.
I just saw what happened to my friend Maylee when she went after guys that didn't like her,that they pretty much just wanted to hook up and that's it. She knew it was wrong, she knew they didn't want more out of the relationship but she kept pretending because she wanted to be wanted. She wanted to have someone. Then when she finally got with the guy she is with now, who wants to be with her and treats her like a goddess she feels so weird because she is not used to it. But she is a lottt happier. I didn't say much about those guys she dated before I just said I didn't like them and that she deserved better. I don't want to see ranju do the same thing to herself. It's weird after reading that book Perks of Being a Wallflower that line always sticks out to me: we accept the love we think we deserve. It's sooo true. and it makes me sad because so many people don't think they deserve better and are surprised if they do get better.
Even looking at parents sometimes the love we think we don't deserve I think pushes people apart. One of my friends in the church, her parents are having a really hard time right now. It's just sad because she was questioning about relationships and how does she even know how to be in a relationship because her parents were nothing like she wants to be with her husband.
that's all I have to say for now. I'm excited for this quarter to be over. I really need to take the time to straighten out things with the business, I think I'm really afraid of either outcome. I feel like one leaves me trapped in something that could make me really successful but possibly really unhappy. The other leaves me as someone who has no idea what they are doing with their life, in a lot of debt and chasing after art. I wonder if I put a price on my own happiness haha or maybe I just forgot what made me happy with this when I started.
much love judi
much love judi
that wallflower quote is so truee. makes me think about what i think about myself and who i think i deserve. :/ and that guy sounds like an asshole. i am ascared for the futureee
ReplyDeletelol and you got puked on.ahhaa it makes me laugh to imagine that scene